You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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