if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
