I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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