I cockslap morals
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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