theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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