making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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