Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
