I don't remember. Are we still dating?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
