dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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