Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
