We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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