just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
