if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
