Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
