I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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