Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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