you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
