people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
