Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
