We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You are the jesus of drinking
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
