good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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