I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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