No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Randomize
