Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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