I think scott just propositioned me for sex
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
