I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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