I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
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i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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