CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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