okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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