All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
