I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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