Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
