ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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