I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
