I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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