he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
