Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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