stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm really busy with my period
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