"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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