We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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