Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
