you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
