Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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