i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
