Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
