I'm going to rape someone's good day.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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