Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
