And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
