yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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