u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
