Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
