just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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