Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
