weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she looked like the before picture.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
