Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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