once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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