You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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